An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Dead Brilliant!!
Today
we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will
be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common
Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports
of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened
his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked
teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in
disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when
schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion
or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student
became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost
the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a
beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own
home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common sense
finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing
